It's not such a small world, after all

I really couldn't care less about professional sports. I don't read the sports section, I don't follow the Red Sox, I don't have any negative feelings towards the Yankees. I'd much rather play baseball than watch it on TV.

With that said, I will bring you today's Sports Update:

As you may have heard, the Red Sox have were courting, and have now finally begun a monogamous relationship with Daisuke Matsuzaka, who comes to Beantown from Japan. This completely blows my beliefs about Major League Baseball right out of the icy waters of the Atlantic.

You see, I just assumed that the Major League Baseball Commission, its players and fans included, had absolutely no idea that there was life outside the United States. I really thought that they operated under the assumption that the United States was just floating around in space, much like a trash bag in the wind. Why on Earth (haha) would I think this?

How else to explain that every year the World Series is held. This series is comprised of teams from the United States. That is all. How can it possibly be a World Series, when the rest of the world is not invited? Now that we've finally figured out that there is Life Outside These United States (not to be confused with "Life in these United States," which is of course a collection of heartwarming, often hilarious -- or so they tell us --anecdotes found in Readers Digest), perhaps one day we'll put the World in World Series.