A reLAXing Christmas

Sorry for the delay in posting, but I've been busy re-enacting the Stations of the Cross in my front yard. By re-enacting stations of the cross, I of course mean loading sand tubes into my truck.

We spent the holiday visiting Brooke's mom and stepfather in Arizona (thanks for the tickets, Richard!). There's nothing quite like air travel to make me want to carry an electric cattle prod. How did we manage to invent air travel, yet some people can take 15 minutes getting their luggage out of the overhead compartment?

Anyhoo, this post will inevitably cross the line into Too Much Information. If you're not a fan of TMI, just stop now. Really.

So, you know how sometimes when you go on vacation, so does your regularity? You know what I mean. After 4 days of, let's say, lack of productivity from the colon region, I was not feeling so well. Brooke thought that if I took a stool softener, perhaps that would, shall we say, get the ball rolling. So she gave me some Dulcolax -- what she thought was a stool softener. I took the pill, and since I wasn't feeling so hot, I declined to join Brooke and her mom on an errand run. When she came back to find me in the fetal position on the guest bed, she said "I have something to tell you, and I don't think you're going to be happy." She proceeded to inform me that I had actually been given a laxative. Oh, that explained so much! Apparently it was a fast acting (and long lasting!) laxative. It all made so much sense now.

I have decided that my body is apparently only feels at home with my bathroom at home. If I travel, I will have to bring my own toilet. How long do you think it'll take me to get that out of the overhead compartment?