It's All So Clear To Me Now

I have breaking news for you. George Orwell is not dead. He is alive, and apparently writing safety manuals for Holmes electronic products. That is the only explanation for the superb doublespeak propaganda that came with our new Holmes Window Fan.

See our window fan manual? Doesn't it look friendly and informative? Don't be fooled. Things are about to get nuts.
As an alert consumer filled with endless paranoia, I diligently read the Instructions and Important Safety Warnings contained in the manual. I was particularly interested in Safety Warning #17 (is it bad that a window fan comes with more than 17 Safety Warnings?):

Yes, you read that correctly. They have warned consumers that the Holmes Window fan should not be used in a window. I decided that I really must inquire about this.

Here's what I wanted to write:

Please help. I placed my Holmes Window fan in a window, unaware of the danger that awaited me. After turning the fan on, I sat in the gentle breeze and became panicked when I read that to reduce the risk of electric shock to my person, I should not put the Window Fan in the window. I immediately became disoriented but managed to run away from the fan. I am now hiding in my office, afraid that the fan will injure me. It has been 7 days and nothing has happened, but I am afraid to come within a 20 foot radius of the wind demon. Please send help.

Here's what I really wrote:

I recently purchased your Holmes HAWF3095 Window Fan. While reading the Owner's Guide, I was surprised to learn that you do not recommend placing the Window Fan in a Window. I am confused. Please advise.

I have yet to hear back, but can only imagine that the answer will be clear and concise.