Get a Grip!

Me: The tires on Brooke's car were really bald.
You: How bald were they?
Me: They were so bald, Sy Sperling put them on the Board of Directors for the Hair Club For Men!
You: WTF???

Today I got new tires for the wagon. Because the Jetta was apparently designed by the Crazy Hippie Lady who built our house, the tire camber (I had a fascinating conversation with the tire guy about alignments. Seriously.) is really weird on the Jetta. What this means is that you can go 70 miles an hour on an off-ramp, but the tires don't wear evenly. Thank you, Volkswagen.

I did resist the urge to get the tires inflated with Nitrogen. It makes me feel like a race car driver (what with the drive-like-an-asshole tire camber and all), but (a) I hardly ever drive the Jetta, and (b) I know it's probably a load of crap (or, as ABC's John Stossel would say, "What a Crock!"). The nitrogen pushers claim that it keeps the tire properly inflated, and expands and contracts less than "regular" air. But regular air is about 78% nitrogen anyway, so does it really make that much difference? Maybe Dateline should do a series called "To Catch a Nitrogen Predator." It's just a suggestion.