I'm such a jock.

Before you know it, my neck will be as wide as my head! What a jock I am, indeed.

So, last week I had my annual doctor's appointment. My doctor noticed a little rash that had just popped up that very morning (I get so many rashes, it's really hard to keep track; maybe a rash-o-meter would help). She recommended that I get some Lotrimin, as the rash "looked angry." I made a mental note to blame the gross people at the gym who don't wipe off the equipment when they're done.

Today I stopped by Rite-Aid to pick up some Lotrimin. Imagine my horror when I saw this:
Note how your eyes are drawn in by the arrows. How could you possibly ignore the pulsating nether regions? Oh how delighted I was to bring this package up to the counter. Do I have jock itch on my arm? "Does this really cure jock itch?" I wanted to ask the cashier, "because I've got a hell of an itch!"

To add to my joy, it is about 8 degrees outside. I did not want to leave my JOCK ITCH CREAM in the truck all day, as I worried that it would freeze, and then separate when it thawed. Isn't it good that I think about these things? Anyway, I didn't want to leave it out in the arctic tundra all day, so I brought it in to work with me. I have this fear that I'll have to go get something out of my bag, and my JOCK ITCH CREAM will fall out, for all to see.