Get Fixed the Easy Way!

I'm on a very weird mailing list. I get catalogs for stuff like this:

It's a replica of a pound of fat. How fun! I can also order pens that look just like hypodermic needles. I am so lucky to be on this list.

Today I got a medical book supply catalog. Did you know that there's a book called "Alarming Signs & Symptoms"? I can just picture someone with a giant, pulsating growth the size of a cantalope lying on an exam table while a very calm nurse checks this handy reference guide.
My favorite is "Cardiovascular Care Made Incredibly Easy." Not just easy, but incredibly easy. You know what shouldn't be oversimplified? Cardiovascular care. Now if I'm ever having chest pains, I'm going to have to ask if my doctor has read"Cardiovascular Care Made Incredibly Easy." If the answer is "yes," it might be time for a new doctor.