The Higher the Heels, the Closer to God

Clearly I've been going about this the wrong way. I need to lose weight. Not like those skinny girls who say they need to lose weight, therefore making you want to punch them in their skinny little faces. No, I really do. My motivation for going to the gym is the thought that I might be able to fit into some of my old clothes. It'll be like I went shopping, but without the horror of having to actually go shopping. In a clothing store. With people. It would be great, I thought.
While reading the Sunday paper, I came upon this Nutri-Hoochie ad and realized the error in my thinking. Instead of thinking about my favorite old pair of pants, I should be trying to figure out what type of heel would look best with a string bikini. Now I see where I went wrong! Oh, sure, I'll talk a big game about how I hate women's clothes because they're poorly made and chock full of spandex, but it is now evident that I need to refocus. Perhaps I'll start off slowly, with a nice leotard and a pair of pumps.

Well, crud.

What's going on with dog food? There's yet another recall, this time affecting the brand of dog food we switched to recently. Keep in mind that we picked this dog food specifically because it was not affected by the previous Menu Foods recall, and contained no wheat gluten/rat poison.

I'm at a loss as to what dog food to feed. Perhaps I should just feed them suet cakes. It seems to work well for the my chubby-cheeked chipmunk friend.

Photo Friday: What's on TV

With the newly released DVD of Twin Peaks Season 2, my TV is ripe with the image of Special Agent Dale Cooper. Very special, indeed. This photo shows our TP collection: Season One, Season Two, Fire Walk With Me, and of course commemorative Twin Peaks cards. I think there's even a card for creamed corn. If you've never watched the show, this will make no sense, and is perhaps for the best.

I am including, for your benefit of course, a photo of the Log Lady gracing our screen.
Also in view are some more of our series' on DVD...Seinfeld and The Simpsons. Delightful. I will note that this very TV was purchased on Craigslist. You are filled with a feeling of awe, I can tell.

Mitt Romney Invented Hunting

Oh, Mitt Romney is the man. Yes indeedy. If you haven't heard the latest, allow me to summarize:

1. Mitt Romney said he's been a lifelong hunter.
2. Someone figured out that he hasn't had a hunting license in ages.
3. His campaign says, "oops, he's only been hunting twice."
4. Romney says, "I shoot varmints. Rats and rabbits." Does not specify how many times he's been hunting.
   

Is this going to be the caliber of the presidentail campaign? Is hunting the barometer of manliness? "Hey, vote for me! I like to aim my gun at little furry creatures and pull the trigger!" Is this really what it takes to lead the country?

It is no secret that I'm no fan of hunting. I can understand if you're hunting to provide food for your family; however, I suspect that Romney doesn't hunt for sustenance. How can people call hunting a sport? If I'm involved in a sporting event, chances are my opponents are aware that they're playing, and have comparable equipment.

Don Imus-t be an idiot

So, you've heard the ruckus about Don Imus' recent comments. I like how he said that he's not a racist. This is just another example of why people don't get to say whether or not their a racist -- their words and actions decide that.

Will Imus be the next in what is becoming a long line of celebrities whisked away to "rehab" (read: mudbath, followed by a Swedish massage; perhaps you can just exfolliate out the ignorance) for racist or homophobic comments? Or, were his ratings low, and this little outburst merely a ploy to boost listenership?

My coworker had an excellent suggestion. Don Imus should be fined heavily. The money from the fine should then go to fund a Rutgers women's basketball scholarship. I bet that's money better spent than on a spa retreat. Oops, I mean rehab.

Photo Friday: Spring

What the hell, Al Gore, what the hell? The calendar says April, but the weather says "screw you!"

Welcome to Spring in Maine. Last weekend it was warm enough to go outside without a coat (well, for Mainers, anyway; when it hits 50 degrees we start pulling out the shorts). This morning, I awoke to the following spring-like weather:


The dogs were vaguely interested in the snow.



Later in the day, after the plow trucks had done their magic, I spotted a few dedicated souls at Fat Boys, the local drive-in restaurant. Please note that the roof is not normally white.


And finally, nothing says spring like having to bury your groceries in the snow because the power has been out for 7 hours. Springy!