Making Farting Noises with your Armpit is Immature

Michael Vick: A short play by Sarah

Federal Prosecutors: Um, you're in trouble, Mr. Vick. J'accuse!
Michael Vick: No way. I'm innocent.
Federal Prosecutors: We mean it.
Michael Vick: No way. I'm innocent.
Federal Prosecutors: Your friends just pleaded guilty.
Michael Vick: No way. I'm screwed. And maybe a little guilty.

The end.

Sadly, it is not the end. As you may have heard, Michael Vick pleaded guilty to federal dogfighting charges, and apologized. To paraphrase, he basically said that everyone makes mistakes, and that he was immature.

I've made mistakes. Who hasn't? But somehow we've all managed not to torture animals for fun. Immature? I think the word he was looking for is inhumane.

Now, to be fair, I've only seen the story on TV, so I'm sure I don't know the whole story. The news media have a habit of saying that they have "the latest," but only seem to regurgitate the same sound bites. Still, I think we get the picture. Even if Mr. Vick didn't actually kill any dogs, as he claims (though he previously claimed that he was innocent), he was part of the operation, and gave us a pretty good glimpse of his character. I hope his sentence includes a lot of community service, preferably picking up poop at an animal shelter.

Fairly Entertaining

This week I bring you an exclusive report from the Skowhegan State Fair. It is the place to be, after all. Last weekend Brooke's sister came for a visit, and we offered up a few suggestions of things to do (other top contenders were a balloon festival and visit to a lighthouse). I was secretly rooting for the fair, so I was pretty happy when that's what she picked.

We were a little late getting started, and missed the pig scramble. We did, however, make it to the Galaxy of Thrills. This consisted of a very small racetrack perched about 40 feet in the air. The guy rode around it on a motorcycle, and a woman in hotpants (Galaxy Girl, if you must know) twirled around, sometimes suspended by just her neck or her toes. Good times!


I was especially interested in the proximity of the "stay healty" sign to the giant Fried Dough stand. The back of the "stay healthy" sign held hand sanitizer dispensers. It was a tad windy when I attempted to "stay healthy," and I ended up getting hand sanitizer on my leg. Tingly!


Where else but a state fair will you find Steak on a Stick? Hopefully nowhere.


What fair would be complete without disturbing giant bears in overalls? Come on, little boy, climb into my belly! You can't run away forever, little boy.


A barn just for swine! Dreamy! Unfortunately by the time we got there, the swine barn only contained one lonely piglet. Maybe he didn't do well in the pig scramble, and was left to think about what he'd done.


And of course there are the rides, which are my favorite part of the fair. Brooke's sister and I rode a ride called the "Freak Out," which was pretty cool (but short). We also rode "The Apollo," which seemed pretty tame from the ground. However, upon being locked into the metal cage (always a good sign), we spun round and round, sometimes upside down. For a good portion of the ride, I had no idea where the ground was. It was pretty sweet.

Belated Photo Friday

I finally found the picture I originally wanted to use for the Tree theme.
This was from the parking lot outside my dorm in college. Since I had a 10-speed, parking wasn't a big issue for me.Sadly, I'm pretty sure this tree has since been cut down to make way for more Saabs and Volvos.

Photo Friday catch-up: Artsy Fartsy and Trees

I'm a little behind on my Photo Friday assignments. This is what happens when your lawn needs to be mowed and your shower is leaking. Thankfully, both issues have been remedied, and only one required the use of a basin wrench.

Anyhow, here are the past two themes.

Trees

Wall Art (or, what's on my wall)

Open Window, Insert Fan

It is now safe to put your window fans back in your windows. After two months of living on the edge just to enjoy a breeze, I have finally heard back from the folks at Holmes:

Hello Sarah,

First and foremost, I do apologize for the delay in responding to your
e-mail. In answer to your concern, this was a typographical error on
our part. I apologize if this may have caused you any inconveniences. We
are in the process of correcting that in our future manuals.

Thank you for your time and patience.

Marvina
Jarden Consumer Solutions

Composting for Jesus

On Sunday I built (I'm using that term loosely) a compost bin. After seeing the prices for new compost bins, I figured it'd be way cheaper just to build my own out of pallets. Plus, it's probably more environmentally friendly to recycle used pallets than to buy a new plastic compost bin.
Getting pallets is fairly easy, provided you have a vehicle in which to transport them. Most any business that has a loading dock will be happy to let you take away their old pallets (I'd recommend asking first, if you don't want to end up in the newspaper's "Police Blotter" section).

I used eight corner brackets, which cost about $5 for the lot. All that was needed for tools was a cordless drill. I also used a reciprocating saw; this was not actually necessary -- it came with my circular saw, and I hadn't had a chance to use it yet.

Anyway, assembling the bin took about 1/2 hour, and probably another 1/2 hour or so was spent clearing out overgrowth in the area I wanted to put the bin. I will be the first to admit that it isn't what one might call "pretty," but it is functional and mostly out of sight. If everyone who went to church on Sunday (in the interest of full disclosure, I did not go to church on Sunay; I prefer to express my spirituality on Saturdays at Home Depot, generally in the plumbing aisle) came home and built a compost bin, the world would be a better place.

Flippin' Out

We live in a society, people. A SOCIETY!

I was driving home from work the other day, and stopped at a stop sign. Shocking, I know. As I waited for the traffic on the main road to pass so that I could turn right, a red truck approached from the opposite direction. I have recreated the scene for you:

Since (a) I was at the intersection first and (b) I was taking a right and Mr. Red Truck was taking a left, I clearly had right of way. However, this information was of little importance to Mr. RT, who, when I started to turn right, proceeded to pull out in front of me. Not only did he cut me off, but the big-haired hoochie in the passenger seat flipped me off! She even went so far as to extend her arm out the window of the truck, just to ensure that I got a good look at her middle finger.

I was kind of hoping that Mr. RT's tire would blow out as some sort of retribution for ignoring basic rules of driving. Either that, or a giant winged creature (see illustration) could come down from the sky and pluck he and his lady friend up in their jerk-mobile. I would have been satisfied with either occurence.